originally posted december 18, 2000

worst semester ever!

In my life, the number "three" bears a rather curious distinction academically. From first grade on through high school, we were on a quarter system. I invariably did the worst in the third quarter every year, for reasons outlined in About Me. Seeing as though Carnegie Mellon operates on a semester system, I though I could buffet my third-quarter failures with a strong fourth-quarter showing to balance out the spring semesters.

The gods of numerology did not like this, and brought forth an even worse punishment: my third semester here. Talk about your breakdowns.

jason's bogus journey
US Airways flight 539 from LaGuardia to Pittsburgh is scheduled to depart on Sunday at 3:29 PM.
2:00 PM	call US Airways, to find that the flight is 45 minutes delayed.
3:00 PM	the flight is 2 hours 15 minutes delayed.
3:30 PM	depart for airport.
4:00 PM	get stuck in traffic en route to airport.
4:30 PM	arrive at airport, wait outside to check bags. Discover that the flight now leaves at 6:00 PM, 2 hours 30 minutes delayed.
5:00 PM	check bags at curbside, clear security, head to gate.
5:30 PM	flight is delayed until 6:30 PM.
5:45 PM	discover that flight has changed gates, and will leave at 6:45 PM.
6:40 PM	board plane (my row being the last one to board).
7:00 PM	leave gate, begin taxiing to runway. (Scattered applause as plane finally moves.)
7:03 PM	Captain notes that there are "about ten planes" ahead of us on the runway. Collective groan. Passenger next to me places AirFone call to inform her party that she will be very, very late.
7:50 PM	plane takes off from LaGuardia Airport, 4 hours 21 minutes late.
8:45 PM	plane arrives in Pittsburgh, and taxis to gate B48.
9:05 PM	after deplaning, arrive at baggage claim.
10:05 PM	seeing that my luggage still hasn't arrived, and that flight 539 no longer appears on the board next to baggage claim D, get in line to inquire about my luggage.
10:35 PM	arrive at front of line.
10:37 PM	ask where my bags are. "They're still at LaGuardia," replies the attendant.
10:39 PM	file a "Property Irregularity Report." US Airways establishes a file for my baggage, and says that my baggage will be delivered to my CMU address when it is located.
10:55 PM	depart on overcrowded Airport Flyer shuttle bus.
11:54 PM	arrive at CMU.
11:59 PM	arrive at Entropy to purchase replacements for toiletry items in my luggage.
12:00 AM	Entropy closes.
12:21 AM	write bitter e-mail detailing the day's events.
12:22 AM	think of clever way to tell teachers, "US Airways ate my homework."

grounded

When I bought my plane tickets home and back for Thanksgiving, I had no idea that I would be returning on Sunday, November 26, the busiest air travel day in history. There was some heavy fog in New York that day, making the whole experience painful at best. I have converted an e-mail that I bitterly composed after my ordeal to a table, which appears at left: notice the total of 4 hours and 21 minutes of delays, an hours of waiting at the baggage claim, a half hour waiting to complain (in the company of many passengers from my flight) and an overall span of nearly eight and a half hours between the flight's scheduled departure and the time that I actually arrive at Carnegie Mellon. Had there been no delays, I would have easily made it back in time to catch The Simpsons at 8:00 PM; that's just one of the things that made me mad that night.

As an epilogue to this story, I received a call at around 8:45 AM on Monday morning informing me that my luggage had come in, and that they would be bringing it to campus. Fair enough, I thought: I was so desperate at this point that I was willing to get back on an Airport Flyer shuttle to pick my bags up as they arrived from New York on a plane. Because I packed all of my dirty laundry in one of my bags to have washed for free back home, I had nearly no clothes whatsoever back in Pittsburgh. Fortunately, I had a few sets of clean clothes left, so between those and the toiletries that I bought early in the morning at the Entropy convenience store on campus, I was set with a contingency plan. I finally got my luggage on Monday afternoon, unpacked everything, and was back to normal at last. I decided not to have US Airways reimburse me for the four dollars I spent on replacing some toiletries, for fear of more paperwork and red tape. Everything arrived safe and sound, but in the future I don't think I'll be taking quite so much clothes back home to wash. (Of course, when I head home later this week for the winter break, I'm packing my suitcases to the limit.)

The moral of the story: if it's humanly possible, avoid flying through LaGuardia. If you do end up in that hellhole of an airport, and are forced to check your bags at the curb, tip the skycaps generously. Perhaps then, and only then, will your luggage come through in a timely and intact fashion.

homework hell

This semester has been pretty grueling in terms of homework, even though there was only one class that provided the bulk of the frustration. That said, here is one last rundown of my four classes:

15-212: Principles of Programming

This class ranks right up there as one of the hardest, most "hateable" classes that I'll take here. It reintroduced me to the frustration of working like mad on a program, only to come to the conclusion that I really should have started the program three days earlier. Furthermore, it reintroduced me to the concept of working my ass off on a homework assignment, only to get zero credit. That's right: no credit. No partial credit, no A's-for-effort, nothing. In fact, I should hesitate to call it finished: I'm still disputing a grade of 0 that I got on a recent homework because a portion of it didn't work.

This class had all of the hallmarks of a mismanaged computer science course: like in my last programming course, 15-211, the TA's ran the show. While this allowed for a lot more interaction between course staff and students (TA's tend to be more approachable than professors, in my opinion) it also caused some problems with the mechanics of the course. Homework was often not returned until nearly a month after it was submitted. Office hours were frequently moved. The overall difficulty of the material was very high. Overall, I feel that I'm glad to be done with it -- or then again, am I done with it? Grade outlook: C/D.

33-104: Experimental Physics

As I draw ever closer to completing my science requirements next semester, I look back on this course and think that it was pretty unremarkable. Fortunately, the pace was pretty lax and the instructors were friendly and accessible. Although there weren't a lot of assignments to do, they often took a fair amount of time to complete and were graded very strictly. Apparently this course wasn't the GPA-making course I had imagined it to be, although it's certainly easier than some other lab courses that I've heard horror stories about. Grade outlook: B.

36-217: Probability & Random Processes

My one statistics course that I will likely have taken while here. Although the homework often was pretty long and involved, it demonstrated the material in class pretty thoroughly. What's more, I was able to make good use of the many office hours available. The availability of the TA's and instructor were perhaps the biggest keys to my success on the homework assignments.

This course was also unique because it used what I like to call "karate-style scoring." Students started at a 0.0 mastery level, and could take mastery exams of increasing difficulty to increase themselves to a 0.5, 1.0 (D), 1.5, 2.0 (C), and so forth up to 4.0 (A). I managed to work myself up to 3.5, but my homework performance boosted that up by another 0.5, so I didn't even have to take the final to know what my final grade was. While this style of scoring is certainly very discrete and straightforward, I don't think I would be happy to see it again in another class. For instance, on the homework assignments we were encouraged to make an effort on every question: even if we never got close to the correct answer, our effort would be worth some small amount of points. However, the mastery exams were each just one question, graded on a pass-fail basis. Demonstrating partial knowledge would get some quick points on a homework assignment, but would get the student nowhere on the mastery exams.

Most courses stress homework over tests, to keep the students involved. In this particular course, tests were the single largest factor in determining the final grade. Everyone, myself included, has a tale of at least one mastery exam that they feel they could have, would have, or should have passed had they remembered one fact or one setup procedure. What's more is that I don't even remember what was covered in the last two weeks of class -- I slept through most of it, frankly. Despite this, my thorough knowledge of some of the material was enough to earn me an A in the class. That just doesn't seem right. Final grade: A.

82-271: Intermediate Japanese I

Many students take Japanese at the elementary level to satisfy some humanities requirement or perhaps because they just consider it to be an easy A. Whatever the reason, the attrition rate is very high in these modern language courses. Last semester, I watched my Elementary Japanese II class dwindle to six students; this semester, we started with nine students and ended with only seven. Nevertheless, small class sizes are only a benefit; while I can't sleep in this class like I could in most of my other classes, the level of teamwork and community within the class is astounding. The fact that we were all required to post to the class bboard and also show up to class (unlike any other class, except possibly my lab) further strengthened this experience.

I find that while humanities is not a department for which Carnegie Mellon is renowned, the modern languages program is very intense and very personal. Next semester, I expect to take the next language course along with an introductory culture course to continue towards a Japanese minor. While the homework is still plentiful, I still find time to deal with it. Grade outlook: A/B.

Overall

This semester was my lightest one yet in terms of units carried (42, compared with around 54 in semesters past; one unit is one hour of work in or out of class per week). While it certainly didn't destroy my overall GPA, my in-major GPA is still languishing. Both my in-major and overall GPA must remain above 2.00 so that I can graduate, so I definitely need to improve my time management as always. Next semester, I plan on rounding out my humanities and science requirements so that I can focus much more intensely on my major and minor courses in my final four semesters. As always, I'm entertaining the possibility of spending some time abroad. However, given my academic obligations, that would probably involve spending only a summer abroad. It would be a bit hard to expect transfer credit for computer science courses, especially considering all I go through just to be eligible to take them here.

social tendencies

quote of the month

"You are wonderful, funny, nice, all of that, perfect for some wonderful woman somewhere, but, not me."
-- Jessica Payne, in an ICQ message early in the morning of December 10.

Maybe it's just a bad time of the month.

Those of you who have known me for some time know that on December 8, 1999, I asked a good personal friend of mine whether she would like to be... more than just friends. Not only did she say no, but she also told me that she was bisexual -- a rather apparent fact that I completely failed to pick up on. The following semester, I was introduced to some of the most bizarre women I have ever seen, in the role of this woman's girlfriends. "Wow," I thought. "I finally met someone with a worse taste in women than mine."

Apparently, things don't change much in the New Millennium. While the ending might change, the story remains constant.

Saturday, December 2. Bright and early, I arrive at the University of Pittsburgh's famed Cathedral of Learning to help out with a quiz bowl tournament for high schools in the area. (For me, it's all about the children.) When I arrive, I notice that another CMU student has already arrived to help out, and another is on the way. The student who got there before I did is named "CMU Drone 2" by the resentful Pitt College Bowl team; I am given a choice of either "Drone 1" or "Drone 3" by the powers that be at Pitt; I choose "Drone 1" for reasons that may forever be attributable to fate. The tournament goes well, and the three drones even meet with a couple of the Pitt female contingent (well, okay, the only two women there from Pitt who aren't currently dating the president of the College Bowl club) for lunch. Things go generally well.

Tuesday, December 5. An e-mail arrives from a Jessica Payne, with a return address in the pitt.edu domain. It is entitled "Hello Drone 1." After a few replies back and forth, and the addition of each other to our respective ICQ lists, she invites herself over to CMU to partake of the 50-cent bottles of Surge available in the CS undergrad lounge. The catch: I have to pick her up at the Cathedral of Learning, about a mile away in less than ideal weather conditions. Not wanting to turn a pretty face down, I accept the offer. We kill some time in the CS lounge, frightening the geeks present therein with the presence of a woman that does not pain the eyes of normal people to look at. Although things end amiably enough, in the wee hours of the morning, nothing of note really transpires between us.

Wednesday, December 6. As I rise groggily from my few hours of sleep, I run to work where, like any good desk attendant, I immediately fire up VNC to log into my many instant-messaging accounts remotely. Some more conversation is exchanged. That evening, I receive a message reading "gee, women everywhere are putting the moves on you, what kind of chance does a little Pitt student have?" which puzzles me a bit. After all, women everywhere seem to consciously avoid putting the moves on me, given the way I like to distort kind gestures into perceiving women as actually liking me. That night, she invites myself and drone 3 out to the charming architecture of Wean Hall (again, inviting herself to CMU) with the promise of meeting her friend Amanda. The goal: to fix up Amanda and drone 3, leaving myself and Jessica as a Happy CMU-Pitt Couple. Well, drone 3 managed to charm -- or scare, it's not quite clear -- both of the women with his impression of the Jigglypuff song (if you've never watched Pokémon, I won't even try to explain). We wound up staying up until 5:00 AM, walking home in a snowstorm as the buses in Pittsburgh were starting their runs for the day.

Thursday, December 7. Simply the most drone you can get. I spent nearly half this day in Jessica's company: the five hours at the beginning of the day (carried over from Wednesday), an afternoon expedition to a "nearby" Japanese food store, and then some one-on-one chat in my living room in the evening. I come away from the evening thinking, "Hey, I think this girl likes me."

he said, she said

Jessica has posted a rebuttal to my take on this story. In the interest of fairness, I encourage you to read it as well.

Friday, December 8. Before my usual no-life Friday night shift at the information desk, I stop by Ginza with Jessica. Ginza is a nearby Korean and Japanese food place that's pretty good, and inexpensive to boot. Then, while at work, I naturally sign on to ICQ using VNC and Everybuddy. After more small talk, we get to her saying, "Well, I'm getting closer to my decision, I'm almost there." After what is perhaps the most tense 14 minutes of my modern life, she decides to express no preference for either drone. I move along, a little disappointed but not entirely so. She eventually comes to CMU later that night to watch the late showing of "The Replacements" on campus for the princely sum of $1. (Since that's the rate with student ID only, I graciously buy her ticket.)

Saturday, December 9. After the movie is over in the wee hours of the morning, we head to the CS lounge for more caffeine and more opportunities to watch very pathetic people attempt to mathematically reason arguments about the card game bridge. (You think I'm kidding, don't you?) At around a quarter to four in the morning, I decide that I need some sleep, so I leave Jessica alone in the lounge with drone 3. This turns out to be the biggest Bad Idea I have yet carried out. I end up spending the rest of the day catching up on the homework I missed during my hours upon hours of time with Jessica in the past week. Jessica, on the other hand, goes to Pitt, where apparently it's okay if you leave your homework undone for three months.

Sunday, December 10. The bomb drops in the early morning hours. After spending a night on drone 3's couch, and a lot more time thatn I imagined in his company, Jessica sends me the most devastating 137-character message I have ever seen.

That single, terse, overly punctuated message singlehandedly destroyed whatever hope I had in finding happiness in this woman. Apparently I've fallen into the same trap as I often do: any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you. I read way too much into simple gestures and attitudes, to think that she actually liked me. Huh. Perish the thought. After the fact, she insists that she originally did like me, but that she apparently lost interest after a while. Perhaps it was my abrasive personality. Perhaps it was my condescending attitude or my objectionable nature.

I'd just like to think I lost out to a guy who did a better Jigglypuff impression.

See you next year.

Back to December 2000, or to the year 2000.